Sai- The Divine Sculptor
(this was the topic Sathyajit gave to his speech)
"....Dear Brothers and sisters, this is a very emotional moment for me to stand here today as memories flood in of me coming to this holy temple with Swami many times in the past , I remember my place was fixed by the side of the throne ( and he pointed the spot next to the throne) – I also got an opportunity to go to Swami’s dining room here on the first floor where Swami has had so many lunches cooked by these loving Mothers of Saidarshan.
On our way back to Parthi after watching many a drama enacted by the ‘SaiDarshan’ Balvikas students, Swami used to appreciate and tell us all present in the car that these street children did such a wonderful job.
Today the topic I have chosen is Sai- The Divine Sculptor – the reason being that is I was always intrigued by the sculpture by Rodin – the thinker – I used to wonder, what is he thinking? Perhaps he is thinking about his creator the sculptor.
Similarly I too am thinking about my sculptor – who chose me “this rock” to make a sculpture out of me. I was just a rock who Swami picked, and then he marked me for future sculpting. My journey started in the year 1991- I was a Mumbai boy a typical city boy of that age – It was on my fourth day in the Sathya Sai University in the Brindavan campus when during breakfast I whispered to my friend Sai Satish , “ what is this we get only 4 idlis here – at home I used to eat 10 idlis!” After breakfast we were sitting for darshan and I was on the 3rd or 4th row Swami walked straight up to me , looked at me and said something which I could not follow , I went near and Swami repeated it and everybody behind me replied , “IDLI!!” I was shocked I thought Swami was asking what I ate for breakfast so I also said, ‘Idli Swami!’ Swami said, “Kitna idli ?” I was shocked I and Sai Satish looked at each other in horror – Swami said, “Kya bola ? ghar mei das idli khata aur yahan khali char idli?”( what did u say? At home u ate 10 idlis and here u get only 4 idlis?) . I tried to be as diplomatic as ever and said, “No Swami these idli’s are very big idlis – nice idlis!” I was fumbling with words, trying to be my diplomatic best. After that Swami did not speak to me for the next 5 years – my sculptor had marked the rock for future sculpting when the rock was ready for the hammer and tongs.
Then
one
day
after
5
years
-Swami
suddenly
hand
picked
me
to
distribute
prasadam,
I
went
in
obediently
and
got
the
basin
of
prasadam.
Swami
asked
me
to
give
the
basin
to
another
boy
and
asked
me
to
come
to
him.
I
was
kneeling
beside
Swami’s
chair
and
swami
was
busy
talking
to
another
boy.
I
slowly
placed
my
hand
and
put
my
palm
underneath
Swami’s
feet.
Swami
was
all
the
while
talking
to
the
boy
on
the
other
side
when
suddenly
His
feet
pressed
my
fingers
with
so
much
force
that
I
could
not
believe
that
such
dainty
feet
could
actually
press
with
so
much
force.
This
was
the
silent
sculpting
that
He
did
in
front
of
such
a
large
audience
on
that
day.
Then again
Swami came
and spoke to
me – I was
standing in
the
Brindavan
campus,
Swami walked
passed me
and
whispered
in my left
ear very
loudly ,
“COME WITH
ME TO
KODAIKANAL!”
I was taken
aback and my
left ear
drum almost
burst out –
I could not
believe
myself that
I was to
accompany
Him to Kodai.
It was bliss
to have
spent time
with Swami.
On another occasion
I was walking behind
Swami to the dining
room in the
Brindavan campus –
one big carton box
was there, Swami
told me to check
what was in it – I
opened one flap of
it and saw that
there were some
pickle bottles there
and I said, “Swami,
pickles.” Swami
said, “Be careful –
u might spill on
ur
dress, your dress
will turn red” ( all
these conversation
happened in telugu
). I opened one
bottle and closed it
thinking, see Swami
I can handle this –
I am quite careful
and efficient ! (
monkey mind) . We
went inside the
dining room and on
our way back Swami
again pointed to the
same box and asked
what was there
inside the box, I
again said in a
matter of fact way,
“Pickles, swami.”
Swami told me to
check once again, so
I opened the other
flap and I saw that
there were tomato
sauce bottles on the
other side of the
box. I can never
forget those plastic
red bottles with
white caps. Swami
asked what it was, I
said, “this is
tomato sauce swami.”
Swami asked, “What
is that? – ( as if
He didn’t know what
tomato sauce was )–
so I explained to
Him that it was
“Tomato pachadi ,
Swami.” And I opened
the cap to show it
to Swami. No sooner
had I opened the
cap I was shocked
because I have seen
only Thum’s
up and Coca
Cola fizz
out like that, I had
no idea that tomato
sauce could fizz
up like that and it
messed up my entire
white shirt and soon
my white shirt was
red and covered with
sauce. I turned
around and saw Swami
was blissfully
laughing and saying,
“I told u
ur
shirt will become
red, so I told u to
be careful – I
didn’t say that it
would become oily”
Another day – Swami told
me to sit in the car
with Him – we were going
for a drive near the
Brindavan campus. I ran
and jumped into the car
and I sat next to Swami
in the back seat. On the
way Swami asked in Hindi
, “Swami
se kya maangta hai?”
( what do u want from
Swami?)
I said ,
“ I want only Swami”
Swami said, “Krishna
maangta hai, Rama Maangta hai,
kya maangta hai?”(
u want to see Rama,
Krishna – what do u
want to see swami as ?)
I said, “I want
only Swami”
He then asked, “narasimha
dekhne ko maangta hai?” (
do u want to see the narasimha avatar)
I
quickly said, “No Swami!”
Swami kept
on pestering then I decided to say something non
controversial I said, “ Vishwaroopa
darshan maangta hai Swami.” ( I want
to see
ur
Vishwaroopa Darshan)
I was thinking
at that moment what could have Krishna shown to
Arjuna that transformed him or did Krishna
transform Arjuna’s
vision that he started seeing the same
things differently – all those thoughts were going
on then in the mind of the 22 year old boy – Swami
kept His hand out from the window, his palm was
towards the window and
He said, “Roz
dekhta hai – phir bhi puchtahai.”
( he
sees everyday but still he is asking).
Then we returned back to
Brindavan after the drive, Mrs. Indulal Shah aunty was standing
there, Swami was walking ahead of us and moving His right hand –
I could see His hand moving from behind. She asked, “Kya hooa
Swami – bache ne kya kiya?” (what happened Swami – what did the
children do now ?) Swami said, “Swami
ka kam karne ka mouka mila – bolta hai moksha chaiye!”(see
they there getting opportunity to serve Swami and he is saying
he wants liberation).
Now we were in our last
year MSc and we were all running behind Swami’s car and trying
to catch every glimpse of Swami not knowing which will be our
last darshan – As time was fast approaching for us to leave the
university and seek opportunities outside of the institute. One
day I was standing near the erstwhile Ganesh portico when Swami
came and asked , “what do u want?” I said, “I want u swami!”
Swami again said, “tell me what u want?” I thought to myself
this is the best chance to stamp my MBA seat so I said, “Swami I
want a seat here in MBA Swami!” Swami said, “ U want MBA ? then
go to the vice chancellor!” and showed me and sent me towards
the VC . I then realized that
my first answer was right – from God we must want only God – the
moment we want something else He will send us there.
Another day – it was our
routine then around 2.30 – 3 pm we would follow Swami to the
interview room and then Swami would take us for tiffin. That day
as I entered the interview room somebody whispered that Swami
was already there – as I entered I saw Swami in the form I
didn’t want to see – the Narasimha Avatar form! ( He was in a
bad mood). He had a letter in His hand. Swami looked at me
furiously sometimes the sculptor uses hammer and tongs to do
the sculpting, and asked, “where were u?” I didn’t have the
courage to tell Him that I was on time and that, Swami u came
early! Swami showed me the letter some people from the hostel
had written complaining about me saying that I was so talkative
and how Swami chose me in spite of all this. He said, look what
people r talking about u, even the hostel warden is complaining
about u – I was extremely hurt; I fell on my knees and sobbed
and cried – I was panting loudly – suddenly Swami just melted
like butter, He held my neck and put my head on His chest – the
moment my head touched His chest my sobs just vanished – all my
pain just vanished and I was at peace. Then Swami asked me,
“when u were a kid – did u not run around naked?” I smiled and
said, “Yes Swami I might have” Swami said, “will u do that now?”
I said, “no swami I wont do that now” Swami said, “See
that was ur sahaja swabhav then
– now r u ashamed to recollect it – No! similarly
ur behavior before talking to swami was sahaja for
that moment now after speaking to Swami that behaviour will no
longer be sahaja then why should u be ashamed about it ?
u did it because of agyana .” I still remember
how lovingly Swami spoke to me and transformed that rock that
day.
Earlier during morning
darshan time I would pray to Swami to give morning darshan – I
would plead and request Him saying, “please Swami lets go at
least twice a week for morning darshan; see people are coming
from so far waiting for
ur
darshan!” Swami said, “do
u know how much this body has worked, palli palli tirgan ra ,
ippudu e shariramu weak aayepoindi ra ( I have visited village
to village, now this body is weak ra ) hearing
this I had in tears in my eyes and prayed to Swami to rest , I
said “Swami you please rest
Swami – we will do the work and u watch us work , Swami!”
Once a lady from Haryana
group who were performing in front of swami shouted, “I love u
Swami!” Swami said, “Love my
words!” – Yes dear brothers and sisters we have to
love and follow our sculptor’s words –
“BHAGAVAN OVAACHA”, we have to keep reading – we
don’t know when we will come across that single line – that
single stroke from our sculptor which will transform us.
Till then we have to keep on reading. Thousands
of years from now people will read Swami’s words the way they
read BHAGAWAT GITA today.
Those last three weeks
when Swami was in the hospital – first week I was optimistic , I
thought Swami will be alright- everyday I dreamt of Swami
walking around me and talking to me like before, then the second
week I dreamt that Swami was lying in the hospital bed not well
and in the last week I stopped getting any dreams of Him – When
Swami stopped coming in my dreams the third week I knew
something was amiss, I realized that Swami was not coming to my
dreams and talking to me , I ran to Swami’s bed in the hospital
and cried and begged Swami to come and give me a message and
talk to me - I hadn’t slept for a 3-4 days at a stretch and on
23rd April I felt little tired , so I thought of
taking a quick nap – No sooner had I slept for 5 mins I heard
Swami’s voice very sharply like the first time He spoke on my
left ear ( Come to kodaikanal) , this time on my right ear Swami
said very loudly as if my right ear drum would explode, “BE
CAREFUL!” I woke up with a start and ran to Swami’s
room but something inside me said that this was not good news.
Recently 4 days after the
Swami’s Mahasamadhi was opened I was weeping and sobbing at the
Samadhi in a similar fashion as in the interview room a long
long time ago– but the moment my head touched the marble slab of
the Samadhi I immediately stopped crying and felt the same peace
I felt that day in the interview room when Swami had touched my
forehead to His chest– Yes
Swami is still very much there with us!
During the Birthday
celebration I could not sleep for 10 days I was in a bad shape,
I have been going in and out of depression since the time Swami
has left His physical form– my bed was never rolled – days and
nights I would be awake – during Swami’s birthday on 23rd Nov.
an incident happened which I want to share - we were busy
decorating the jhula, on which Swami used to recline.
On Swami’s B’day myself
and a few other boys made a ritual where we go to the Yajur
mandir and light a lamp in Swamis room.
On this day we sang a
bhajan and also played a bhajan sung by Swami so that we could
hear Swami’s voice in that very same room again, sat there a few
minutes. While we were sitting there I dozed off and I had a
dream of Swami. The dream was of me lying dead on the floor and
Swami is giving me CPR. Suddenly I woke up – and i realize, BROTHERS
IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP! TAKE
THIS MISSION
THAT SWAMI HAS STARTED FORWARD.
We are very blessed that we could enjoy and be in the presence
of A LIVING GOD –
Those whose lives He has touched can no longer lead ordinary
lives. “THERE IS NO ORDINARY
LIFE FOR US BROTHERS”. He
has touched all of us and made our lives extraordinary. It is
now our turn to carry forward the work started by Him and yes we
have to love His words all the time. He is very much with us all
the time. His words will rule the world for the next million
years. These memories will always be with us and energise us
whenever we feel low – these memories will take us ahead. There
is no ordinary life for us!
The mike went off at this
moment and Satyajit smiled saying this was an indication from
swami indicating that he had spoken enough for the day..."
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