"He is my swami"
RP: Okay. Let’s first finish talking about your father. Then we will go to you – because I am sure you have a lot of things to share with the listeners of Radio Sai! What were the last years of Prof. Kasturi like?
PK: You mean his ailment or…
RP: We know that the intimacy was growing towards the end; no doubt! But he himself must have said certain things about those last few years – from ’85 on towards ’87? Did he ever talk about how the University was formed? There were so many vast changes that were taking place! Did he have any intimations of his end – that he would be missing all this?
PK: No. He never missed Him because he would go to see Swami everyday! So he never missed that intimacy.
RP: No, I mean the remaining part of whatever we have seen now in the last 10-15 years?
PK: He had a little back ache and he used to go to Swami by wheel-chair. But he couldn’t go upstairs.
RP: When was this?
PK: His backache started in ’85 and he passed away in ’87. Swami had come to our house to see him twice.
His Beloved Instrument till the End
RP: But he continued to do the Sanathana Sarathi (the ashram monthly)?
PK: Oh yes. But he pleaded with Him: “Swami I can’t do this editor’s job anymore. Please hand it over to someone else!” But Swami said: “No! You are the editor and you will continue to be the editor till your last!”
RP: So he was working until the end?
PK: Yes. He passed away on August 14 and even though he couldn’t write that month, but he would dictate and my son would write and help him out and also take care of him.
RP: Oh good. So he did Swami’s work till the last moment! Do you have any mementos of that period?
RP: He was worrying about Swami even though he himself was not well!
RP: Did he write to Swami himself?
PK: Yes. Even though he couldn’t write, he scribbled. Then one day I told him: “See, you are scribbling and Swami may not be able to read this! I think I better write and put yours along with this. He said: “No! Not with my letter! If you want, you can write yours and post it separately!”
RP: So this second letter that He sent in June ’87 is much bigger than the letter in April – which seems quite normal. But apparently Bhagavan has written every word separately and much bigger letters.
PK: Yes, because he had become very weak by that time.
RP: And Bhagavan wanted him to be able to read it himself.
“Wait For Sai”
PK: Yes. He wrote: “Kasturi, Accept My Blessings. Sai is with you and around you. Be happy. Don’t think of anything. Be constantly in the thought of God. This is the chief sadhana (spiritual practice) that you must do now. I will come soon; wait for Sai. Yours, Baba.”
RP: He said: “Wait for Sai. So did Swami come?”
PK: Yes. Before my father passed away on August 14, he was in the hospital for a week. And when anybody would pass by our house, he would think it was Swami!
RP: Swami was constantly in his thoughts!
PK: Yes! He wanted to meet Swami! Then Swami sent word that: “I cannot come to your home; for if I do, the whole crowd will come! Admit him in the hospital and I will come there and give him Darshan.”
RP: So Swami came from Brindavan a week before he passed away?
PK: No. Swami came in June!
RP: Oh! So He returned from Brindavan in June when He wrote in that letter: “Wait for Swami!”
Realising the Ultimate
PK: Yes. One day, in June – before Gurupurnima – he suddenly called my son and said: “I am Atma (the spirit)! Kasturi is dead! Go and tell everybody that!”
RP: He said that?
PK: Yes. I think he had spiritually realized it. My son was disturbed as to what he was saying and why he was talking like this. So I went to ask him and he said the same thing to me too!
RP: So in those few months of ailment, Swami had uplifted his consciousness to that level!
PK: I think so. In the end he told me: “Please don’t force any food on me.” I said: “Your body is still here and I have to take care of your body! So I won’t force you but please eat whatever you want and how much ever you want!” And he said: “Okay. But don’t force me anymore.”
After that, he didn’t say anything and I think inwardly he was thinking about Swami – only Swami!
RP: He was not responding to your calls?
PK: No. Only to Swami! I think he was waiting for that call!
RP: Oh! And when Swami came, he opened his eyes immediately!
PK: Yes, immediately! Then he was trying to fold his hands to do namaskaram and Swami touched both his hands and created vibhuti and applied it on his forehead and He gave me some and told me to mix it with some water. Then He asked me if he took any food since morning? I said: “No Swami. I am just giving him some drops of coconut water because his lips and mouth are dry.” Then He was just standing there for 2-3 minutes.
RP: What was the expression on Swami’s face?
PK: After that, Swami was cool because the breathlessness was not that much. Then He immediately asked me to take His namaskaaram. I felt like He was saying that the responsibility is now mine. He commanded me and my son. Then He went down and told the Doctors: “Just one more hour.” Then He added: “He was a very famous man; he worked in the All-India Radio. We have to make a grand procession because he was world-famous!”
RP: Definitely. He was a world-famous teacher; so it had to be grand!
PK: And He asked all the Doctors and the nurses to go to the room and to repeat ‘Aum Shri Sai Ram’ and He asked the Doctor to inform Him when it was all over. We were all repeating ‘Aum Shri Sai Ram’ till 12:30.
PK: Yes. So in the evening when I was sitting in the line, Swami told me: “He has attained what he has got to attain! So there is no need to do any karma or anything for him!
RP: No rituals - because we do the rituals to pray for the soul's mergence; and in this case it was not needed. So Swami didn’t want any rituals to be done.
PK: No. He said: “On the 12th day, I will Myself do some Narayana Seva (feeding the poor) and I will arrange for everything for some puja (worship) in the house.”
(To be continued...)
- Heart2Heart Team